Thinking of them - Pensando en ellos

Thinking of them this Christmas
 
More than 300 people, men and women, are held in Cuban prisons on a variety of charges all related to their opposition to the regime. None were convicted of violent crimes. In one sweep, the Castro government sentenced 75 people in March of 2003 to terms of up to 28 years for disseminating their views contrary to the government and in favor of granting basic human rights to all Cubans. Fourteen have been paroled, but none the less live a the mercy of the authorities who on a whim can send back to jails.

Some of them have since been released only to be jailed again in Cuba's revolving door "justice" system.  
 
Cuban jails where these people are held resemble scenes from the dungeons in Victor Hugos novels. They are nothing like the U.S. we see on television. They are held in isolation in what can be best described as cages, as small as 3-1/2 by 7 feet, sometimes with no windows, to larger cells where more than a dozen inmates are cramped. The Cuban government has made a special effort to place these people in prisons farthest from their homes so to make it difficult for family to visit.
 
Beatings, denying medical care and family visits, and deprivation of exercise, sunlight and reading materials are routinely used as punishment. Food is barely sufficient to keep them alive.
 
This Christmas our special thoughts and prayers are with these brave men and women who have given up their freedom and their health to try to bring freedom to the people of Cuba.

Now that President Obama has initiated the opening with Cuba, will the U.S. Congress step up and require that stipulations that are part of U.S. laws be enforced, including the adoption of Human Rights for all Cubans, before the commercial embargo is lifted?

Update: Christmas 2019 - No, the Obama administration did nothing to improve human rights in Cuba after opening up visits by US citizens in December 2014. There was no quid pro quo for his gift of free flow of US dollars to the island. Cuba is no better off today; maybe even worse as their economic dependency on Venezuela's help is waning as a result of the economic collapse in that country.  The cash flow of US funds is now significantly reduced by our curent government tightening policies.  Repression on the island has not improved, and is perhaps worse.  Cubans keep putting up with their repressive regime, immune to the examples set by so many other countries around the world that said "no mas" to tyranny. 

Y Ahora Qué, Mister Obama?

Human Rights Watch

World Report 2013

http://www.hrw.org/world-report/2013/country-chapters/cuba?page=1

Cuba

Cuba remains the only country in Latin America that represses virtually all forms of political dissent. In 2012, the government of Raúl Castro continued to enforce political conformity using short-term detentions, beatings, public acts of repudiation, travel restrictions, and forced exile.

Although in 2010 and 2011 the Cuban government released dozens of political prisoners on the condition that they accept exile in exchange for their freedom, the government continues to sentence dissidents to one to four-year prison terms in closed, summary trials, and holds others for extended periods without charge. It has also relied increasingly upon arbitrary arrests and short-term detentions to restrict the basic rights of its critics, including the right to assemble and move freely.

While reforms passed in October 2012 eliminate the need for Cubans to obtain an exit visa to leave the island, they contain vague, broad provisions which could be used by authorities to continue to deny the right to travel to people who are critical of the government.

Political Prisoners

Cubans who dare to criticize the government are subject to criminal prosecution. They do not benefit from due process guarantees, such as the right to fair and public hearings by a competent and impartial tribunal. In practice, courts are “subordinated” to the executive and legislative branches, thus denying meaningful judicial independence. Political prisoners are routinely denied parole after completing the minimum required sentence as punishment for refusing to participate in ideological activities such as “reeducation” classes.

The death of political prisoner Orlando Zapata Tamayo in 2010 after his 85-day hunger strike, and the subsequent hunger strike by dissident Guillermo Fariñas, pressured the government to release the political prisoners from the “group of 75” (75 dissidents who were sentenced to long prison terms in a 2003 crackdown). Yet most were forced to choose between ongoing prison sentences and forced exile, and dozens of other dissidents have been forced abroad to avoid imprisonment.

Dozens of political prisoners remain in Cuban prisons, according to human rights groups on the island. These groups estimate there are more political prisoners whose cases they cannot document because the government does not allow independent national or international human rights groups to access its prisons.

Rogelio Tavío López—a member the Unión Patriótica de Cuba dissident group—was detained in March 2012 in Guantanamo province after organizing a protest to demand the release of political prisoners. He has since been held in detention without being brought before a judge or granted access to a lawyer.

Arbitrary Detentions and Short-Term Imprisonment

In addition to criminal prosecutions, the Cuban government has increasingly relied on arbitrary detention to harass and intimidate individuals who exercise their fundamental rights. The Cuban Commission for Human Rights and National Reconciliation—an independent human rights group that the government views as illegal—received reports of 2,074 arbitrary detentions by state agents in 2010, 4,123 in 2011, and 5,105 from January to September 2012.

The detentions are often used preemptively to prevent individuals from participating in events viewed as critical of the government, such as peaceful marches or meetings to discuss politics. Many dissidents are subjected to beatings and threats as they are detained, even though they do not try to resist.

Security officers virtually never present arrest orders to justify the detentions and threaten detainees with criminal sentences if they continue to participate in “counterrevolutionary” activities. Victims of such arrests are held incommunicado for several hours to several days, often at police stations. In some cases, they are given an official warning, which prosecutors may later use in criminal trials to show a pattern of delinquent behavior. Dissidents said these warnings are aimed at discouraging them from participating in future activities seen as critical of the government.
In July, at least 40 people were arbitrarily detained in Havana at the funeral of dissident Oswaldo Payá, who died in a car accident. Police officers broke up the non-violent procession and beat participants. The detainees were taken to aprison encampment where they were held incommunicado for 30 hours before being released without charge.

Freedom of Expression


The government controls all media outlets in Cuba and tightly restricts access to outside information, which severely limits the right to freedom of expression. Only a tiny fraction of Cubans have the chance to read independently published articles and blogs because of the high cost of and limited access to the internet.
A small number of independent journalists and bloggers manage to write articles for foreign websites or independent blogs, yet those who use these outlets to criticize the government are subjected to public smear campaigns, arbitrary arrests, and abuse by security agents. The authorities often confiscate their cameras, recorders, and other equipment. According to the independent journalists’ group Hablemos Press, authorities arbitrarily detained 19 journalists in September 2012, including Calixto Ramón Martínez Arias, who remained in prison without charge at this writing.
The Cuban government uses selective allocations of press credentials and visas, which are required by foreign journalists to report from the island, to control coverage of the island and punish media outlets seen as overly critical of the regime. For example, in anticipation of the March 2012 visit of Pope Benedict XVI to Cuba, the government denied visas to journalists from El Pais and El Nuevo Herald, newspapers whose reporting it has criticized as biased.

Human Rights Defenders


The Cuban government refuses to recognize human rights monitoring as a legitimate activity and denies legal status to local human rights groups. Meanwhile, government authorities harass, assault, and imprison human rights defenders who attempt to document abuses. In the weeks leading up to and during Pope Benedict XVI’s visit to Cuba, authorities detained, beat, and threatened scores of human rights defenders.

Travel Restrictions and Family Separation


In 2012 the Cuban government prevented the country's citizens from leaving or returning to Cuba without first obtaining official permission, which was often denied to those who had criticized the government. For example, acclaimed blogger Yoani Sánchez, who has been critical of the government, has been denied the right to leave the island at least 19 times since 2008, including in February 2012 after the Brazilian government granted her a visa to attend a documentary screening.
Reforms to travel regulations that went into effect in January 2013 eliminate the need for an exit visa to leave the island, which had previously been used to deny the right to travel to people critical of the government and their families. However, the reform establishes that the government may restrict the right to travel on the vague grounds of “defense and national security” or “other reasons of public interest,” which could allow authorities to continue to deny people who express dissent the ability to leave Cuba.
The government restricts the movement of citizens within Cuba by enforcing a 1997 law known as Decree 217. Designed to limit migration to Havana, the decree requires Cubans to obtain government permission before moving to the country's capital. It is often used to prevent dissidents traveling to Havana to attend meetings and to harass dissidents from other parts of Cuba who live in the capital.

Prison Conditions


Prisons are overcrowded, unhygienic, and unhealthy, leading to extensive malnutrition and illness. More than 57,000 Cubans are in prisons or work camps, according to a May 2012 article in an official government newspaper. Prisoners who criticize the government, or engage in hunger strikes and other forms of protest are often subjected to extended solitary confinement, beatings, restrictions on family visits, and denial of medical care. Prisoners have no effective complaint mechanism to seek redress, giving prison authorities total impunity.
In January 2012, Wilman Villar Mendoza, 31, died after a 50-day hunger strike in prison, which he initiated to protest his unjust trial and inhumane prison conditions. He had been detained in November 2011 after participating in a peaceful demonstration, and was sentenced to four years in prison for “contempt” in a summary trial in which he had no lawyer. After beginning his hunger strike, he was stripped naked and placed in solitary confinement in a cold cell. He was transferred to a hospital only days before he died.

Key International Actors


The United States’ economic embargo on Cuba, in place for more than half a century, continues to impose indiscriminate hardship on the Cuban people, and has done nothing to improve human rights in Cuba. At the United Nations General Assembly in November, 188 of the 192 member countries voted for a resolution condemning the US embargo.
In 2009, President Barack Obama enacted reforms to eliminate limits on travel and remittances by Cuban Americans to Cuba, which had been put in place during the administration of President George W. Bush. In 2011, Obama used his executive powers to ease “people-to-people” travel restrictions, allowing religious, educational, and cultural groups from the US to travel to Cuba. However, in May 2012 the Obama administration established additional requirements to obtain “people to people” licenses, which has reduced the frequency of such trips.
The European Union continues to retain its "Common Position" on Cuba, adopted in 1996, which conditions full economic cooperation with Cuba on the country's transition to a pluralist democracy and respect for human rights.
In June, the UN Committee Against Torture (CAT) issued a report on Cuba in which it expressed concern about reports of inhumane prison conditions and the use of ambiguous preventive detention measures such as “social dangerousness,” among other issues for which it said the Cuban government failed to provide key information.

La Copa del Mundo y Cuba

¡Cómo pasa el tiempo caballeros!  Mi última contribución a mi propio blog fue casi 5 años atrás.  Es el “efecto FaceBook”. Pero hoy se me ocurrió mencionar algo trivialmente interesante.  Claro, todo gira alrededor del Mundial de fútbol, el cual he estado siguiendo como el adicto busca la droga.  De los sesenta y un partidos hasta ahora, solamente me he perdido uno.  Los he visto narrados en inglés, español y portugués, de acuerdo a los equipos que se enfrenten,  ya que los “del patio” tienden a conocer mejor los “trapos sucios” del equipo local.  La verdad es que los ingleses, escoceses, irlandeses, galeses o estadounidenses que los narran en inglés nunca han aprendido a decir “gooooool” como un latino.  

  

¿Pero a qué viene eso en un blog sobre Cuba, si Cuba no aparece ni en los pensamientos de la FIFA este año?

Pues bien, lo que le ocurrió a Brasil hoy, la matanza de Belo Horizonte, la violación en el Mineirao, me llevó a investigar records semejantes en la historia de La Copa.  Y, ¡albricias! (esta es una palabra que aprendí en Cuba leyendo “comics” traducidos al español en México, y nunca tengo la oportunidad de usarla), la derrota 7-1 de Brasil a manos de Alemania no es la peor de la historia.  Tal paliza ha sido sobrepasada en años anteriores por cuatro resultados peores en juegos de La Copa: 9-0 Hungría vs Corea del Sur (1954) y Yugoslavia vs Zaire (1974); 10-1 Hungría vs El Salvador (1982); y agárrense, 8-0 Suecia vs Cuba (1938).  

Por lo menos lo de Cuba no ocurrió en casa, sino en un país lejano, y siendo tanto tiempo atrás, el equipo seguramente regresó en barco a Cuba, pasando suficiente tiempo para que sus coterráneos hubieran sanado las heridas de la derrota.  Nada como la deshonra de Brasil siendo el país anfitrión de la Copa del Mundo de 2014.  Ah, y les queda jugar contra el perdedor del juego de mañana para discutirse el 3r (o el ultimo) lugar.  ¡Ay Dios mío!  Será contra Argentina o contra Holanda.  Ojala no sea con sus vecinos, pues si lo perdiesen, estoy seguro que si no una guerra, la ruptura de relaciones diplomáticas sería posible.

No sé si alguno de ustedes recuerda el “maracanazo”.  Ese nombre se le da a la ignominia que pasó Brasil en el estadio de Maracaná en Rio de Janeiro en 1950, cuando perdieron el partido final contra Uruguay después de haber estado adelante 1-0 la mayor parte del juego.  Pues me imagino que la derrota de hoy borrará esa hora negra en la historia futbolística del país y que hasta afectó la vida de los brasileños,  para reemplazarla con la degradación de hoy.  Me pregunto qué nombre le darán.  Es difícil decir “mineraioazo”.

Pero regresando a lo de Cuba y Suecia.  ¿Cómo fue eso?  ¿Que en Cuba se jugaba fútbol en 1938?  Entonces yo era, quizás, un pensamiento en la mente de mis padres, pero aún en los veinte años siguientes, hasta que salí de Cuba, el balompié sólo lo jugaban equipos de las asociaciones de españoles que vivían en Cuba y sus descendientes.  Por cierto, siendo yo uno de esos últimos (abuelo, les diré, fue presidente de la Asociación de Naturales del Consejo de las Regueras, para que vean) en mi vida hice rodar un balón. Yo, y todos mis amigos, estábamos demasiado ocupados jugando pelota, al “taco”, basquetbol, o cuando el tiempo llegó, como “ligar”. 

¿Así que de donde salieron esos pobre once infelices que pasaron tal vergüenza frente a Suecia en el ’38?  Quizás alguno de ustedes sepan quienes eran.

Claro, la revolución, a cambio de joder la economía y que muchos pasen las de Caín en la Perla de las Antillas, logró llevar por lo menos un equipo a un Mundial.  Bueno, ¿y qué?  Mas mérito le doy al los del ’38 que pudieron formar un equipo de entre los cuatro gatos que jugaban con los pies en Cuba y representarnos en lo que indiscutiblemente es el evento deportivo por excelencia en el mundo.

Hasta la próxima, que espero no será dentro de cinco años.

Y si fuera tu hermana?

El viernes pasado, 6 de noviembre, la "blogger" cubana Yoani Sanchez, sufrio una paliza a manos de varios matones de la Seguridad del Estado. Cobardes! Le harian eso a sus madres? A sus hermanas? Me temo conocer la respuesta.

Como podran explicarle a su familia que se ensañan con su sadismo en una mujer indefensa cuya unica arma es su palabra?

Les tocara su hora, de eso pueden estar seguros.

El blog de Yoani, Generacion X, se encuentra aqui

http://www.desdecuba.com/generaciony/

Detritus Humano

El caso de la neurocirujano cubana, la Dra. Hilda Molina, y su madre tristemente evoca la situación de hace varios años cuando una barcaza de basura de New York le dio la vuelta al mundo buscando quien la aceptara. Claramente, los gobiernos envueltos están tratando este caso como el anterior: como si se tratara de basura.

Primero el presidente Kirchner de la Argentina le pide a Castro que le otorgue permiso a las dos señoras (madre octogenaria; hija de 62 años) para que pasasen las Navidades con el hijo de la Dra. Molina, médico también a su vez, y su familia en dicho país sudamericano.

Pero Castro, en su arrogancia de siempre, negó la petición aunque venía directamente del jefe de estado de uno de los pocos países amigos que le quedan a Cuba. Como alternativa, ofreció que la familia argentina de la Dra. Molina viajase a Cuba, opción que justificadamente, la familia consideró inaceptable. Nada de extrañarse para aquellos que conocen como se comporta el tirano de Cuba, quien en paralelo dirige sus hordas a que pinten caricaturas ofensivas de un embajador extranjero frente a su sede en la Habana.

Kirchner se doblegó ante la actitud de Castro y en lugar de mantener su posición y demandar respeto a su petición de apoyo a uno de los inalienables derechos humanos – el de un ciudadano tener la libertad salir de cualquier país, inclusive el suyo propio, como estipulado en el artículo 13 de la Declaración Universal de los Derechos Humanos – ¡no!, prefirió destituir a su embajador en la Habana y al jefe de Gabinete de la Cancillería argentina. Un acto que tiene que causar vergüenza a los argentinos decentes y de buena voluntad.

Ahora el presidente argentino está tratando de pasarle “la papa caliente” a los españoles, intentando intermediar para que este país acoja a la familia Molina para su reunificación.

¿Seguirá Rodríguez Zapatero, Presidente del Gobierno español, los pasos de Kirchner y evitará enfrentarse a Castro?

Remembering Adrian Monk

To wash or not to wash (your hands)

Have you seen the Tivo commercial, the one where the New Year’s countdown at Times Square is stopped on 5, you hear the sound of a toilet flushing, and a man returns to his mate in front of the TV to watch the rest? …4-3-2-1- Happy New Year!

Have you stopped to think that he never washed his hands? Now all of you Monk fans out there know this, but for the rest of you complacent people, do you know that 30% of men do not wash their hands after going to the bathroom?

I don’t know the stats for women, but I have done considerable, statistically significant sampling to conclude that 1/3 of the men you shake hands with had previously shaken hands with their own toto. How about them wieners!

So why do I bring this up in a blog about Cuba?

Only because anecdotal evidence seems to indicate that Cuba’s incidence of penis-tainted hands is close to 95%.

How do I know this? Easy. It is very rare to find a public restroom in Cuba with running water and soap and towels. You may find many with running water, some where an attendant attempts to sell you a napkin or a couple of sheets of toilet tissue, and rarely, very rarely, will you find one with soap. But never, ever one with all three.

And no, it wasn’t like this when Meyer was running the show.

Adrian, I hear they are running a special on trips to Cuba. What, you are not interested?

Integrity - Integridad: ¿Existe la palabra en el diccionario en Cuba?

Integrity

It would be nearly impossible to visit Cuba for 120 days or more in 11 trips during the last three years and not learn something about how life on the island has been altered in the last 4 decades.

What first comes to mind is how the Cuban mentality, mores and integrity, have changed since I left the Island in 1958. Perhaps I am more aware of this change than Cubans who have lived in other Latin American countries all these years instead of the United States.

Cubans have lost their ethical bearings. It has become an un-principled society.

A couple of days ago, a young Cuban lawyer (32 years old) who has lived in the U.S. five years, and who I have come to otherwise respect, said something which confirmed my conclusion.

“Business is one thing and integrity is another”… it doesn’t translate well as she said it in Spanish, but her message was clear: “You can't let integrity interfere with business”

Did I hear correctly?

Twenty years growing up in the company which many called for years “America’s most admired corporation” taught me differently. Integrity is integrity; in all you do.

How can anyone “put integrity aside” while conducting business? I guess some do, and they are likely to end up in prison. Of course, my friend is a lawyer, which in itself means she has either learned how to make a living without having one ounce of remorse regardless of what she does, or she has it in her genes and therefore she became a lawyer.

And before my honest lawyer friends raise a stink, you know darn well I am not referring to you and that a large number of your colleagues fit that mold. Read the results of any survey on the subject.

But in this case, I am quite sure it was the “Cuban” in her and not the lawyer who spoke.

“You can’t let integrity interfere with business”

I still can’t believe it.

For those of you who have never been there, or those of you who left Cuba ions ago and have never been back, and particularly for those of you who travel there frequently on business and have no idea of what is happening around you (yes, that's right, you don't have a clue), be alert! Cubans will not even blink when they cheat or make absurd demands or make-up the most incredible story in order to get their hands into your pockets.

And for those planning for the "reconstruction of a free Cuba", my advise is this: Before the bulldozers begin working, before a new constitution is written, before free elections are planned, a massive re-culturization effort must be undertaken or nothing will take hold. Cubans have to re-learn the meaning of honesty and integrity.

Cubans, if left to their own devices, will devour each other guided by the law of the jungle, where only the strongest will prevail.

It is a sad and scary prospect.

The Spirit of Meyer Lansky©

In the mid 1950s $3 million dollars were deposited in a numbered bank account of Cuban dictator Fulgencio Batista as down payment for a deal that assured him 50% of the profits of legal gambling in Cuba. The architect and negotiator for the agreement was Meyer Lansky, the “Little Man” of the US organized crime syndicate. From that point on he had Batista and Cuban authorities “eating out of his hand” and was able to turn gambling profits from Cuba into the mafia’s principal source of income.

Lansky’s bribing the Cuban government at the highest level, and therefore subverting the rule of law in Cuba became the most grotesque illustration of Cubans kowtowing to the americanos (the term gringo is not commonly used in Cuba), although it was not the sole example. Americans’ sense of superiority was evident in the influence that US ambassadors had on Cuban affairs, in the condescending way US citizens on the island treated their Cuban hosts, and in the way tourists disregarded manners and decorum they most surely showed in their own home towns. The most offensive example of Americans’ obnoxious behavior and Cuba’s tolerance of it was the photo of the sailor in full US Navy uniform, peeing on the statute of José Martí, the Republic’s most revered founding father.

Fast forward to 2004 and a similar scenario is already developing despite the much publicized hostility towards the United States, the ‘battle of ideas’ that Cuban government rhetoric promotes, and its claims of total independence from any foreign influence.

The spirit of Meyer Lansky is alive and well in Havana.

You can see it in the behavior of American businessmen visiting Cuba. Clearly, the visible vulgarity of Italian, Mexican and Spanish visitors overshadows that of Americans, just based on sheer numbers. But not to be excelled, US visitors can be seen in situations they would most likely avoid if they were at home.

The sight of a European or Latin American male visitor with a jinetera (Cuba’s euphemism for whore) in expensive stores and in fancy restaurants is commonplace in Cuba. It is offensive to most Cubans (whether visiting or living on the island), but it doesn’t seem to offend government officials, who at the very highest level, have bragged that “Cuba has the most educated prostitutes”.

Just like in the fifties, when US tourists and sailors did their best to represent their country badly while insulting Cubans, the Ugly American has landed on Cuban shores.

While at one of Havana’s better paladares (moniker for a privately owned restaurant, as opposed to the unbelievably bad government-owned ones) one night, a gang of four or five American participants at the Havana Fair arrived with their dates in tow. These were girls who manned the Americans’ booths during the day and who doubled as escorts in the evening. The ensuing scene begged the question: Were these guys so horny that they couldn’t wait until they got to their rooms to start the ass grabbing and groping? For Pete’s sake, they were at a respectable restaurant! It was later said they continued their “show” at the gardens at the El Nacional, Havana’s most fashionable hotel. Would they have behaved the same way had they been back home in Tampa?

But distasteful behavior is a two way street, and Cubans can be particularly good at it.

Clearly, the award for the most notorious American ass kisser goes to Alimport’s president Pedro Alvarez. (Note that in the previous sentence, the word American modifies ‘ass’, and not ‘ass kisser’.) Whether it is with a Cuban abrazo, a bottle of ‘Havana Club 15 Años’ and a box of Cohibas, or by laying it thick with accolades on certain American visitors, Pedro has shown exquisite technique in the art of debasing oneself. But his art is reserved for only a few Americans worthy of such rear-end treatment. These are the top dogs of major American companies selling their wares to Cuba, and politicians and assorted public servants who Cuba believes can promote their interests with the U.S. Congress and U.S. public opinion in general. And then again, some of these, specially drunk, female U.S. elected officials may get a real ass grabbing, as rumors have it took place during the April 2004 negotiations event.

For “lesser” Americans, particularly Cuban-Americans, he is particularly adept in showing a very cold shoulder.

Kowtowing doesn’t stop with Pedro, of course. During the recent Feria de la Habana one of Alimport’s directors was heard saying he was very irritated with the chief of Cuba’s veterinary inspection services because “he lied to me in front of an American”. And it sounded so natural when he said it! He really felt offended not because the man had lied to him, but because he had done it in front of an American!

The truth is that Castro is a failure and he needs Ghostbusters. For as much as he has claimed Cuba no longer suffers its ills of the fifties, for all his ranting and raving against the US, the ghost of Meyer Lansky reincarnated many times over has come back to haunt him.

Yes, the spirit of Meyer Lansky is alive and well in Havana.

Demasiada cubanía

¿Por qué tanta cubanía?, me preguntó el amigo de más de 5 décadas y vecino de la niñez.

Porque nací en la calle 19 entre 10 y 12 en el Vedado; porque eso está en Cuba.

No lo entendió. Un ejemplo más de las diferencias entre cubanos, asi sean de "allá" o de cualquier rincón del planeta a donde nos ha llevado la diáspora.

¿Sabías que liberaron a Raúl Rivero?, le dije.

¿Y quien es ese?, respondió.

Bueno, no tenemos remedio.

Aguacates (or Avocados... if you prefer to read it in English)

¡Sí, Nosotros no Tenemos Aguacates! ©
(para ser leído al compás de http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/bananas.htm)

Aproveché la oportunidad durante mi visita a La Feria de la Habana para llevar a mi familia cubana a un restaurante del estado donde el espectáculo incluía un cómico bien conocido.

El camarero joven – parecía no tener más de 16 años – tomó nuestra orden de bistec de puerco, y ofreció los acompañantes: arroz congrí, ensalada, y algo poco usual, “Pellis”, el término usado en Cuba para unos saladitos de queso, que en Estados Unidos llamamos “cheese puffs”.

No muy entusiasmado con esas opciones, le pedí una ensalada de aguacate. “No, no tenemos ensalada de aguacate”.

¿Y qué ensalada ofrece usted?, pregunté.

“Tomates, habichuelas, col y aguacate”.

¿Pero no dijo usted no tenía aguacates?

“No tenemos suficiente, así que lo ofrecemos como parte de una ensalada mixta’”.

Bien, me traígame una ensalada mixta de tomate y aguacate.

“No, no podemos”

¿Cómo que no puede? Y en mi mejor imitación de Jack Nicholson le dije: Tome el plato de ensalada, quite la col, quite las habichuelas y me trae lo demás.

“No, podemos hace eso. ¿Quiere usted hablar con el capitán?” ?

El jefe de comedor, de mediana edad, apareció y repetí mi pedido. Esta vez el guión de Five Easy Pieces fluyó naturalmente: Tome el plato de ensalada, quite la col, quite las habichuelas y me da los tomates y el aguacate.

“No, podemos hace eso”, el Capitán dijo. “No tenemos suficientes aguacates, así que si le damos una ensalada de aguacate, no tendríamos para otros clientes que pudieran querer una ensalada.”

Para entonces hasta mi primo, militante del Partido, comunista hasta la médula, no pudo contenerse. “Quizás usted no entiende”, y señalando hacia mí dijo, “El es el cliente y él está pagando por su comida. ¿No cree que él debería poder pedir cualquier cosa por la cual él esté dispuesto a pagar? “

La esposa de mi primo, quien como él es una partidaria ferviente de La Revolución, se le unió: “¿Por qué no le da la ensalada de aguacate ya que él está aquí ahora, y si se acaba, el que llegue luego puede comer lo que tengan disponible entonces.”

A estas alturas, yo ya ni pensaba en los aguacates. Estaba más interesado en observar como salían a relucir los instintos capitalistas y de libre mercado en mi primo y su esposa, en contraste con el absurdo razonamiento socialista del Capitán. A fin de cuentas, mi primo y yo venimos de las mismas raíces asturianas, quienes junto con los gallegos desarrollaron el comercio en Cuba a principios del Siglo XX. De repente me dí cuenta de cómo este episodio de ensalada de aguacate caracterizaba la mentalidad incomprensible con la que me tenía que encarar al negociar con compradores cubanos la venta de productos alimenticios que represento.

“Imposible; no podemos hace eso”, dijo que el Capitán orgulloso de haber seguido ‘las normas’, y se marchó.

De más está decir que no comí ensalada.

Más tarde esa noche, cuando regresaba del baño, mi primo comentó: “Pasé por una mesa donde un hombre había terminado de comer su ensalada… todo menos los aguacates.”

¡Qué Dios los bendiga!


Yes, We Have No Avocados! ©
(to be read to the tune of http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/bananas.htm)

I was taking a sojourn during my visit to La Feria de la Habana to take my Cuban family to a government owned restaurant, which included a floorshow by a well known stand-up comedian.

The young waiter -- he looked not one day past 16-- took our order for pork steak, and offered the available side dishes: congrí rice, salad, and an unusual choice, “Pellis”, the trademark-turned-generic term for ‘cheese puffs’.

Not enthralled with the choices, I asked about an avocado salad. “No, no avocado salad”.

So what salad do you offer? I asked.

“Tomatoes, green beans, cabbage and avocado”.

I thought you said you did not have avocados.

“We don’t have enough, so we offer it as part of a ‘mixed salad’”.

Well, bring me a mixe tomato and avocado salad.

“No, we can’t”

What do you mean you can’t? And in my best Jack Nicholson form told him: Take the salad plate, remove the cabbage, remove the green beans and bring me the rest.

“No, we can’t do that. Do you want to talk with the captain?”

The middle-aged headwaiter showed up and I repeated my request. By now the Five Easy Pieces script just flowed naturally: Take the salad plate, hold the cabbage, hold the green beans and give me the tomatoes and the avocado.

“No, we can’t do that”, the Captain said. “We don’t have enough avocados, so if we give you an avocado salad, we may not have enough for other customers who may want a salad.”

At this point, even my die-in-the-wool, card-holding, Communist Party Member cousin couldn’t contain himself. “Maybe you don’t understand”, he said pointing at me. “This is the customer and he is paying for his meal. Don’t you think he should get whatever he is willing to pay for? “

My cousin’s wife, who like him is a blind follower of The Revolution, chimed in: “Why can’t you give him the avocado salad since he is here now, and if you run out, just tell others who may come later you don’t have any, and they can have whatever salad greens you have available.”

By this time, rather than thinking about avocados, I was more interested in watching the free market instincts in my cousin and his wife come out naturally in contrast to the Captain’s absurd communist reasoning. After all, both my cousin and I come from the same Asturiano stock, who along with the Gallegos built the Cuban commerce foundation in early 20th century. All of a sudden I realized how much this avocado salad episode characterized the bizarre mentality I was faced with when negotiating with Cuban buyers for the products my company offers.

“Impossible; we can’t do that”, said the Captain proud to have followed the ‘norms’, and walked away.

I never got my salad.

Later that night, as he returned from a trip to the men’s room, my cousin said: “I walked past a table where a man had finished eating his salad… all except the avocados.”

God bless them!